1993

The year that John and I got engaged, we spent the Christmas holiday at the farm.  I had already met most of John's extended family at Thanksgiving, which was when we had announced our engagement, and it was John's turn to meet my clan.

I'm not sure that I adequately prepared him for this experience.  I think he was a bit overwhelmed at the volume: of activities, of people, and of noise (there are not very many introverts in my family, especially on my Dad's side).

What John remembers most from that first Christmas (aside from the amazing ability of my family members to effectively participate in multiple conversations at one time) was how much time we spent in church.  Christmas Eve service.  Christmas morning service.  Sunday morning worship service.  New Years Eve service.  New Years Day service.  Sunday morning worship service.  Throw in a family gathering or two (also at the church) and I think we were in church every day we were there.

I remember being surprised that John was so surprised at this.  This was the Christmas ritual that I grew up with.  The air that I breathed.  It was becoming clear to him just how important church was/is to my family.  And to me.

From what I understand, the church I grew up in no longer has all these services.  Likely, I'm guessing, that's because people like me wouldn't attend them all anymore.  While I have fond memories of the candlelight choir services, Sunday school nativity programs, solemn (and German!) New Year's Eve and all-too-early New Year's Day services, my life and community has grown beyond the church in ways that mean other activities and people also share priority.  To be clear, I'm not saying that my church commitments (or my faith) have been replaced, just complimented - by relationships and activities outside of it. 

Though many things have changed over time to be sure, many of the fundamentals remain and continue to be important to both John and me and our boys, as well as our respective families:  the importance of relationships, life-giving and life-deepening activities and the role of church, both our community and our faith.

I must say I was relieved that, after that first Christmas, John still (and with the full knowledge and understanding that only multiple family gatherings can provide) chose to be with me.  And by extension, my family.

And we're still celebrating, 17 Christmases later.